One Year of Living Alone

Yes, it’s already been a year since I made the life-changing decision to live on my own. And the most surprising part of this story is that I’m writing it not from my home, but from my childhood bedroom at my parents’ house, in bed, at 2 AM.

But let’s start from the beginning.

A New Era

In July 2023, my experience of living alone began. I still vividly remember the excitement I felt… I was counting down each day like a child waiting for Christmas. After numerous trips to IKEA, I finally had my own space, my freedom, and my privacy.

I couldn’t complain: I had achieved one of the goals I set for that year.

The joy of watching a movie on my own couch, inviting friends over, is priceless. There’s something uniquely satisfying about creating an environment that is entirely your own. The pleasure of preparing an elegant dinner, experimenting with recipes, and enjoying the fruits of your labor in a space that reflects your personality. Or having a quiet corner to reflect during intimate moments with oneself, free from distractions.

Eating whenever you want, sleeping as long as you wish, these simple freedoms become cherished routines. I reveled in the ability to set my own schedule, to structure my days exactly how I wanted. Living alone has its perks, but it’s not all sunshine and rainbows.

There were also unexpected challenges that came with this new chapter. The silence can sometimes be overwhelming, and the responsibility of maintaining a household entirely on your own is no small feat. Yet, these experiences have also been incredibly rewarding, teaching me resilience and self-reliance.

The Hard Reality

Living alone is not as easy as it seems: it changes how you manage money, but more importantly**, it changes how you manage your time**. Suddenly, you’re responsible for every aspect of running a household, which can be overwhelming. A home needs constant maintenance: cleaning, organizing, and dealing with the inevitable wear and tear. Then there’s the grocery shopping. Planning meals, making lists, and managing your pantry take more time than you might expect.

Additionally, homes often require repairs and upgrades. Whether it’s a leaky faucet or a blown fuse, you’re the one who has to fix it or call someone who can. This can be both time-consuming and financially draining. And there’s always something new that needs to be bought, from cleaning supplies to kitchen gadgets.

All these responsibilities might be more manageable with a partner to share the load. But doing it alone, especially with a demanding job that already fills up your days, can be quite challenging. Work deadlines and stress can leave you exhausted, making it difficult to find the energy for household chores.

Yet, I don’t want to give the impression that the balance is negative. After the initial euphoria of living alone (much like in a new relationship), you need a bit of willpower to maintain the lifestyle. It’s about finding a routine and rhythm that works for you. Over time, you learn to streamline tasks and prioritize what’s important. The satisfaction of managing everything by yourself, despite the challenges, is a rewarding experience that fosters growth and independence.

When You Miss Family

No matter how strong and independent you think you are (at least, I thought so), there come moments in life when being alone in your own four walls becomes tough.

To put it simply, there were two or three times in the past year when my house felt too empty to contain my thoughts, which echoed too loudly within the walls. In those moments, the silence can be deafening, amplifying feelings of loneliness and isolation.

I don’t want to go into details, especially since one of these events is so disappointing that it doesn’t deserve to be remembered. What’s certain, though, is that you realize how important family and those who truly care about you are during the difficult moments of life. The comfort of knowing that someone genuinely cares about your well-being is irreplaceable.

Being alone at home can become a catalyst for negative emotions and loneliness, making you long for the company of loved ones. It’s a humbling reminder that while independence is valuable, human connection is essential.

A Perfect Picture?

I’m proud of having faced all this on my own, both financially and in terms of organization. I don’t know many people who have done it all by themselves.

I thought, here’s the perfect picture:

• 🎂 27 years old
• 🏡 house
• 🚙 car
• 🏍️ motorcycle

What more could I want? What could the Fabrizio of five years ago, who wasn’t yet working full-time, have hoped for better than this? Probably nothing better… but the question is: what does the Fabrizio of today truly desire?

It’s tough, you know, raising the bar for ambitious people. You’re never satisfied. You bought a car worth X, could you ever buy one worth half that? No, your bar is set there, and you have to maintain it. No steps back, only forward, or at the very least, staying where you are in extreme necessity. This is the dangerous vicious cycle of those who never look back: sure, you climb, but you risk not seeing where you’re stepping and missing important pieces.

So, I wonder, what’s missing from this picture? What does a pathologically ambitious person like me need to add this year?

Or maybe, this time, it’s worth pausing a bit and realizing that perhaps it’s already a picture too big to carry on alone, and it’s better to consolidate it? Or find someone who appreciates it and with whom to share it?